A Modest Proposal

[shirenomad]

My boss, Pam, shares an office with Pat, a notary public. Which is a pretty good idea when you think about it; legal documents often need to be notarized, and people getting things notarized sometimes need legal advice. Match made in heaven.

Speaking of matches made in heaven, Pat's also a licensed minister (from one of those mail-order churches) and regularly conducts quickie marriages out of a single room chapel that takes up about a third of the office.

For reasons too lengthy to explain here (so click here instead), I'm also a notary public, and I've subbed in when Pat needs an hour to run an errand and when Pam doesn't require me for something urgent. Recently, Pat brought up the idea of having me take the notary office for all of Monday as a regular thing.

Great idea, I thought. But then she brought up the idea that I'd also need to field any marriages.

Umm, not a minister.

"Oh, no problem. You can go online and get a license in less than a day."

I already have my own issues with the idea of quickie marriages. Granted, some come in because they can't afford anything more elaborate, or because they don't have time to prepare anything more elaborate (one young soldier got hitched to his beau and shipped out three hours later). But the majority of them are simply young and in love and aren't spending the time to think about just what it means to devote yourself to your new spouse like that, which comes back to bite them later. Pat herself admits that the divorce rate among her clients is atrocious.

But there's more than that. As I've mentioned before, my dad's a minister. He spent years of training to earn that title. He serves as teacher, mentor, and counselor to a church of over 200 people. He lives, technically, on donations, in a county with one of the highest cost-of-living rates in America.

Pat went online and got her license with the click of a mouse. She will serve a pair of clients just long enough for the papers to be signed and money to exchange hands, and she doesn't care what happens to them once they step out the door.

I can almost follow her reasoning for why she does it, but I can't agree with it. She has earned the name "minister" neither in effort nor in spirit. And for me to claim the same title in the same manner would be an utter show of disrespect to my dad and to others I know who worked for the title and continue to earn it every day.

Comments

[lin-chan.livejournal.com]

Why can't you just tell her about your dad, and that the situation makes you uncomfortable?

[shirenomad]

First thing I did. She clearly thought my position was ridiculous.

[lin-chan.livejournal.com]

Probably not. She's more likely annoyed because she knows what she's doing is less than admirable. She wanted you to act like it's no big deal to ease her conscience, and when you did the right thing, she got defensive.
Sorry you have to go through this, it's gotta be awkward, but just try to remember it's not your fault, and you're doing the right thing, and you're a good employee.

[pretzelcoatl.livejournal.com]

Yeah, you have a good point there. Nobody really likes being reminded that they might be doing something which is, as you put it, "less than admirable."

So, yeah, I definitely agree. Don't let her disapproval interfere with your integrity. If it really was "the Big Job Opportunity," I doubt that you would have to sacrifice something which is so important. Good show all the same, though. *CMZero gets 1000 Respect Points!*

[shirenomad]

Eh, it would have only netted me a hundred for a days work, for only one day a week; I can earn half that much on an average day from Pam anyway. If there had been big bucks involved, I might have been more tempted.

[surgo.livejournal.com]

Think of it this way: it's not really that you're taking the title of minister, but rather you are taking the ability to grant marriage licenses.

[shirenomad]

Except I would be taking the title of minister, in what I consider to be a very phony manner.

Think about it this way. My brother spent four years working and studying hard at the Naval Academy to become an officer, and he'll spend another five years working off his educational fees by serving in the Marine Corps. Now imagine someone else claiming to be a Second Lieutenant, USMC, without having done anything to earn the position. Even if he does nothing with that title other than wear it -- never orders around other members of the military, never claims military benefits or pay, etc. -- he is making certain statements about his training and character that he has not earned the right to make.

People (well, some people) instantly trust someone with the title of minister. They expect certain characteristics, a certain level of understanding. My dad took classes in theology, psychology, and ethics to bring himself to that level of understanding. Pat went online and filled out a form.

[surgo.livejournal.com]

I understand all that, but I always thought that a title such as minister was one that is earned and bestowed upon you, not bought. That's why I think that even by taking this thing, you aren't really a minister.

BTW, what's your brother's job in the Marines?

[surgo.livejournal.com]

That said, I respect your integrity and if I was in a similar situation I would probably do the same. Good luck.

[shirenomad]

Second lieutenant. :P

(Actual assignment hasn't been decided on yet, and won't be for a few more months.)

[mountainranger.livejournal.com]

Don't sacrifice your integrity. Good luck. =/

[chubbypanda.livejournal.com]

I support your stance and commend your integrity. Sir, I salute you!

*salute*

Seriously, tell her to piss off. If you want to sacrifice your integrity, there are less insidious ways to do it. Like working street corners.