shirenomad: (silly)
[personal profile] shirenomad
We've got this place where Quality Assurance can, during moments of boredom and mind-meltage, write up quips and random thoughts for all to see. For no particular reason, I'll pass some on to you (like you care):

Mission Statements:
  • We crash software so you don't have to.
  • This project is like pushing a rock uphill. As QA, it is our sworn duty to chuck banana peels underneath said rock.
  • QA: Doing stupid things is our job.
  • It's not a good day until we've ticked off a programmer.
Appropriate Quotes:
  • "The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds the most discoveries, is not 'Eureka!' but 'That's funny...'" - Isaac Asimov
  • "On two occasions, I have been asked [by members of Parliament], 'Pray, Mr. Babbage, if you put into the machine wrong figures, will the right answers come out?' I am not able to rightly apprehend the kind of confusion of ideas that could provoke such a question." - Charles Babbage
  • "A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any other human invention in history... with the possible exception of handguns and tequila." - Mitch Ratcliffe
  • "I'm wrong all the time. It's how I get to 'right'." - Gil Grissom
Puns and Parody:
  • We may experience some slight bugs and then explode.
  • We have ways of making you crash...
  • Ninety-nine points on the checklist to test, ninety-nine points on the list; you take one down, report all the bugs; ninety-eight points on the checklist to test...
  • Report fifteen bugs, and what do you get? Another day older and deeper in debt.
  • Just say no to bugs.
  • In brightest day, in darkest night, no bug shall escape my sight.
  • The bug stops here.
Fake Bug Reports:
  • Computer stopped working after I set it on fire. Need new Computer to recreate bug.
  • Atthispointthespacebarstopsfunctioning.
And finally:
  • With more power comes the ability to screw up in new and more spectacular ways.
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