I dunno, I tried to answer in a general way, and I think the same answer is still relevant. By "outside the system" I dont necessarily mean groups that exclude other groups. Not "hanging out and having girl time". Men are still welcome in feminist spaces. The spaces just operate under slightly different etiquette rules.
Speculation Re: the specific example: Sexual assault mainly happens to women. It is something that ALL women have to be aware of, pretty much all of the time. That makes it a women's issue. By labelling it a women's issue, you will catch the attention of people who are most affected by it, and perhaps help them. Maybe they will be more likely to attend, feel braver, or more interested (one always feels safer in groups that are more like oneself).
Various minority groups of various types do not have that type of like-me group safety, as a default (less stuff in their invisible backpack). In this one situation, this one group, you felt a bit off-put, a bit on the outside. You wondered if you would be welcomed. That's a cruddy feeling. But this is one time. So like, is there a chance that for other people, that is how they feel in many every day situations? Many times? If so, is it fair for you to ask them to tear down their walls for your sake, in this one instance too, so you can feel comfortable? Or should you, as someone who is trying to understand, and trying to be supportive, let them do what they feel they need to and work within their framework?
(This is something I have thought about -myself-, as someone who is white, straight, and decently well off financially, so please dont take it as me trying to antagonize you)
no subject
Speculation Re: the specific example: Sexual assault mainly happens to women. It is something that ALL women have to be aware of, pretty much all of the time. That makes it a women's issue. By labelling it a women's issue, you will catch the attention of people who are most affected by it, and perhaps help them. Maybe they will be more likely to attend, feel braver, or more interested (one always feels safer in groups that are more like oneself).
Various minority groups of various types do not have that type of like-me group safety, as a default (less stuff in their invisible backpack). In this one situation, this one group, you felt a bit off-put, a bit on the outside. You wondered if you would be welcomed. That's a cruddy feeling. But this is one time. So like, is there a chance that for other people, that is how they feel in many every day situations? Many times? If so, is it fair for you to ask them to tear down their walls for your sake, in this one instance too, so you can feel comfortable? Or should you, as someone who is trying to understand, and trying to be supportive, let them do what they feel they need to and work within their framework?
(This is something I have thought about -myself-, as someone who is white, straight, and decently well off financially, so please dont take it as me trying to antagonize you)