Even when they tell someone "Hey, that's offensive," they get told in return "Oh, that's just how so and so is."

It is indeed offensive, but I'm not seeing how promoting the idea that women are generally different will decrease the number of comments. To the contrary, each of these comments start with the belief that "women are different, act differently... here are some ways how. That's how it is."

I think we're going over each other's heads here, but I'm not sure at what stage. Maybe we have different things we think of when we say "different"?