Tomorrow.

Nov. 3rd, 2008 04:27 pm
shirenomad: (speculative)
For those living outside California (or inside but under a rock), Proposition 8 is a measure on tomorrow's ballot to codify "Marriage is only between one man and one woman" into the state constitution. This has not surprisingly drummed up a lot of debate, controversy, and outright hostility, although I've missed most of it due to my move to the DC area.

There's this website called PostSecret.com. (This is related to my previous paragraph; bear with me.) People mail anonymous postcards to the address on the page with their secrets on them, and scans of the cards go up on the website. For some, it's a proud statement of something they don't feel good about boasting in public. For others, it has become a confessional for those who prefer the web to a church. Either way, it's no doubt cathartic for many of the writers, some of whom later write back and say just getting the words out there gave them the courage to confess to someone in person, or otherwise deal with the problem.

The website manager has a bit of a sense of timing with posting submissions; this Saturday he put up a lot of election-related secrets. One reads: "I steamed open the vote-by-mail ballots from my office and kept the ones that voted YES ON 8."

Somehow, that didn't shock me too much. What did shock me were the comments on the site that readers made in response. Again and again, the message was "I hate Proposition 8 with a fiery passion but YOU DON'T DO THAT."

The response gave my cynicism a kick in the jewels. I've encountered people who've had sort of a "whatever it takes to win" attitude regarding elections, and more have been on the side of the Democrats than the Republicans this time (bitter over the last eight years, I'm guessing). But that thread of comments restored my faith a little: the knowledge that people will say "if we're going to win, it's going to be because we have the numbers."

I stood in line for nearly four hours on Saturday afternoon to vote early (in order to avoid standing in line for even longer on Tuesday after class got out), and I was out there that long because over a thousand other people were waiting with me. Why?

Wednesday morning (barring a repeat of 2000), we'll know who won, and some will consider the result a disaster but they will not ignore the results and try to put the other guy in the White House come January. Why?

People who utterly oppose a decision are still just as loudly supporting the right of someone to be in favor of it. Why?

Because we're all confident that, whatever the results, this is still the right way to do things.

See you Wednesday.
shirenomad: (faith)
"Alas my love, you say goodbye
Wipe the poison from my brow
Alas my love, this guilty night
It gives me up like a foster child
And in this moment I take my vow
These angels sleeping at my feet
And in this moment you do not know how
How my spirit wants to flee"
You see it was one man against the night
Taking on a multitude
That had left Him high and dry
No candle burning vigil could light the way
Darkness hit the ground like a fallen satellite
He wrestled until morning
With human souls and dark angels
And there He finished His work
On the third day


- Kevin Max
shirenomad: (faith)
Father hear my prayer
I need the perfect words
Words that he will hear
And know they're straight form you
I don’t know what to say
I only know it hurts
To see my friend slowly fade away
So maybe this time
I'll speak the words of life
With your fire in my eye
But that that old familiar fear
Is tearing at my words
What am I so afraid of?
Cause here I go again

Talking about the rain
And going over things
That wont live past today
And as I dance around the truth
Time is not his friend
This might be my last chance to tell him that you love him
But here I go again
Here I go again

Lord you love him so
You gave your only son
If he would just believe
He will never die
But how then will he know
What he has never heard
Lord he has never seen you mirrored in my life
So maybe this time
I'll speak the words of life
With your fire in my eye
But that old familiar fear
Is tearing at my words
What am I so afraid of
Cause here I go again

Talking about the rain
And going over things
That wont live past today
And as I dance around the truth
Time is not his friend
This might be my last chance to tell him that you love him
But here I go again
Here I go again

Here I go…
Here I go…

So maybe this time
I'll speak the words of life
With your fire in my eye
But that old familiar fear
Is tearing at my words
What am I so afraid of
Cause here I go again

Talking about the rain
And going over things
That wont live past today
And as I dance around the truth
Time is not his friend
This might be my last chance to tell him that you love him
This might be my last chance to tell him that you love him
This might be my last chance to tell him that you love him…

You love him…

What am I so afraid of?…

But how then will he know what he has never heard?
shirenomad: (crisis)
Told him not to talk to me again until he'd called and had a real conversation with them. I'm out of things to tell him, and he needs the real help that they can provide.

Just hope I didn't just make a huge mistake.

If you know who I'm talking about, please pray for him. If you don't, pray for him anyway. He needs it.
shirenomad: (crisis)
Since Dad's the pastor, I hear a lot of news about church members before anyone else does. That includes the positive stuff, like when Greg was planning to propose to Christine, or when our choir director found out he was going to be a father (well, okay, a father for the fourth time, but still good news).

That also includes news like this.

The son of one of our elderly members was out bicycling with his daughter yesterday afternoon. He hit a bump on the road, took a tumble, knocked his head on the pavement. Got up, felt more or less fine. No blood. He used his cell phone to call home, admitted to his wife he had done a very stupid thing (he hadn't been wearing a helmet). Said he was coming home, cleaning up, and going to the hospital just to be safe.

He gets home, he takes a shower... and as he's getting dressed he realizes his fingers aren't working well enough to button his shirt. Now concerned, he and his wife head to the hospital, who give him a few quick tests and immediately move him to the trauma clinic. His skull had been cracked and his brain was flooded with blood. Dad got the call in the middle of dinner, and both he and Mom rushed over to be their with his family as the doctors worked.

This morning he was pronounced brain-dead. It was his anniversary.

I didn't know the guy personally (and I'm almost positive you don't either, JW, before you ask), but I do know his mother fairly well. I also know he left behind a wife and two children under the age of ten, one of whom personally witnessed the accident that eventually killed him.

People, wear a helmet.
shirenomad: (encouraging)
You say you're falling apart
Reached the end of the line
Just looking for your place in an ordinary life
No one calls you friend
No one even knows your name
You just want to feel loved instead of all the pain

You no longer have to say
No one's listening anyway

Come here and cry on my shoulder
I'll hold you 'til it's over
I'll rescue you tonight
Let my arms be your shelter
Your hiding place forever
I'll love you more than life

You're wearing a frown
Giving up on hope
My heart is reaching out more than you will ever know
Is your burden too much
Is it more than you can bear
I'll help carry the load if you're willing to share

You have had some hard times
Had thorns placed in your side
I know about what you've been going through
Tears of pain are falling down
It hurts so bad you're crying out
Your problems won't last forever
Let me put you back together

You no longer have to say
No one's listening anyway

Come here and cry on my shoulder
I'll hold you 'til it's over
I'll rescue you tonight
Let my arms be your shelter
Your hiding place forever
I'll love you more than life
shirenomad: (faith)
I cast all my cares upon You
I lay all of my burdens down at Your feet
And anytime I don't know what to do
I will cast all my cares upon You
shirenomad: (encouraging)
I saw the sky fall down today
Suddenly turn from blue to gray
Till one by one the raindrops
Turned to tears upon your face
Wish there was something I could do
Wish I could ease the pain from you
But I've never felt so helpless
It's like you're drowning right in front of me
And I'm reaching out but you can't see
There's something holding on to you so tight
So I guess this is all I'll say to you tonight

If you ever need me
You know where to find me
I will be waiting where I've always been
If you ever need me
You know where to find me
I have never left you, I'm where I've always been
Right by your side
Right by your side

If the whole wide world is on your back
If the strength you need is the strength you lack
If you're in a crowd but all alone
If you can't stay here but you can't go home
If you can't answer all the why's
'Cause you're too tired to reach that high
I want you to remember

If you ever need me
You know where to find me
I will be waiting where I've always been
If you ever need me
You know where to find me
I have never left you, I'm where I've always been
Right by your side
Right by your side
shirenomad: (Default)
"And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the fields, keeping watch over their flocks by night. And lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the lord shone round about them, and they were sore afraid. And the angel said unto them, Fear not, for behold, I bring unto you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you this day is born in the City of Bethlehem, a Savior, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you; you shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes and lying in a manger. And suddenly there was with the angel, a multitude of the heavenly host, praising God, and saying, 'Glory to God in the highest, and on Earth peace, good will toward men.'"

That's what Christmas is all about, Charlie Brown.
shirenomad: (depressed)
Although Mom and Dad didn't intend him to be (he wasn't really famous when I was born), he became sort of my namesake in my mind. Jokes aside, I kinda liked being associated with the guy. So I followed news about him after his accident, and I really was hoping that one day, like the hero we all thought of him as, he'd stand and walk again.

...And I guess that day has come...
shirenomad: (at peace)
Please don't be insulted by the site this happens to be on; I happen to agree with everything this essay says, so I'm putting it up anyway.

For those of us who have good fathers, be glad. Thank them today. Thank them often. Remember everything they did for us.

For those of us who have bad fathers, follow the advice the column gives at the end. I know what hate can do, and I will testify to the cleansed feeling that forgiveness and moving on brings. It took a lot of generations to bring things this far. End the cycle with you.

And for all us guys, if/when we become fathers ourselves, let's all remember to be the kind that will change the world, starting with our children.

...

May. 28th, 2004 06:15 pm
shirenomad: (depressed)
If you aren't a pet owner, you probably won't understand. )
shirenomad: (concerned)
In cat years.

Blackstone's been in our family since I was nine, so I guess I shouldn't be surprised that he's been acting a little senile lately. He'll wander around aimlessly, pause for a good five minutes as if he suddenly wasn't sure where he was going, decide he wants in just a few minutes after he asks to go out (oh wait, that's normal for cats). But he's been losing weight as of late, which is more worrisome. (Fortunately, he was slightly overweight to begin with, so he's got some time before he hits the skin and bone stage.)

There's also his latest tendency: he's been peeing in odd corners of the house. Not spraying, just peeing. This last one has us baffled, since he never did that before. He's always understood the concept of the litter box. And if he were losing control of his bladder, we'd expect dribbling; this ain't that. Anyone who has lots of experience with decrepit cats know what might be up?
shirenomad: (determined)
For fifteen years, I ignored the taunts, the insults, the jostling, and the occasional downright punch.

For fifteen years, I let myself be pushed around.

At fifteen years, I'd had it.

During PE some joker "accidentally" knocked me into the fence while we were running. And then did it again. And then on the way back to the locker room he taunted me all the way. And so I popped him one.

I was probably pretty sloppy at it. I'd never fought anyone but my brothers before, and they didn't really know how either. Got my lip busted for my efforts, even. But I stood up for myself, and the entire PE class saw me do it. And I was never bothered again.

I will not stand for this

     
Everyone Feels This Pain
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shirenomad: (Default)
Silent night, holy night
All is calm, all is bright
'Round yon virgin Mother and Child
Holy infant so tender and mild
Sleep in heavenly peace
Sleep in heavenly peace

Silent night, holy night,
Shepherds quake at the sight
Glories stream from heaven afar
Heav'nly hosts sing Alleluia
Christ the Savior is born
Christ the Savior is born

Silent night, holy night
Son of God, love's pure light
Radiant beams from Thy holy face
With the dawn of redeeming grace
Jesus, Lord, at Thy birth
Jesus, Lord, at Thy birth


Merry Christmas, all.
shirenomad: (defeated)
Timeline for August:

- Four weeks ago, recognizing my financial situation for what it was (and that my intended temporary income source was intent on welching out), I abandoned the pretense of searching for a long-term career and started applying to anything and everything with a Help Wanted sign out front. Never mind putting my degree to good use; all I needed to stay in the black was $8 an hour, 40 hours a week, and I'd take what they would give me.
- Somewhere around last Tuesday I realized that anyone I applied to as of this point wouldn't even respond before I was long gone. I notified my roommates that barring a miracle they were getting their living room back, then called home for moving preparations.
- By Sunday my parents had arranged for a UHaul and a hotel room and prepared to drive down (it's a day-long trip from their place to mine, so they'd be staying overnight). Had all gone according to plan, they would have been halfway here by now.
- Yesterday at 2pm I get a call from a local bookstore I had applied to. They want to meet me for an interview, Thursday at 3:30 (that is, about an hour ago). Yes, if they like what they see they can hire me on the spot. I tell them I'll be there for the interview, figuring I can always cancel later, and email home immediately for advice.
- About 6pm Mom calls and we start trading information. She and Dad agree this is worth pursuing. By 7pm we've cancelled their hotel reservations and the UHaul (the latter at a $50 penalty), since there's no way I can get a final answer, positive or negative, to them before they'd need to leave. By 8pm I've informed all my roommates that I will be around at least another week (the next time the folks can come down), hopefully much longer.
- An hour ago I show up at the bookstore, armed with resume, tie, and shaved face. I have by this point convinced myself that the miracle I had thought would never come was knocking on my door.
- Five minutes into the interview my manager-to-be brings up salary. She'd noted the high rates I had listed on my application for previous jobs (all of them $13 an hour and up; tech jobs may be in short supply but we can still charge well for them even at the intern stage) and figured she might as well mention up front that she couldn't match them. That was fine by me; I wasn't aiming to get rich, just stay alive and down here. Then she said what I could expect to receive.

$7 an hour. Tops.

I refer you back to the first bulleted point.

I was tempted to keep going with the interview anyway, but I had double-checked that number last night and I knew I couldn't go lower, not with a student loan and Irvine rent prices. I politely told her on the spot that I couldn't live on that, and when she revealed she couldn't budge on the figure either, I didn't have a choice. Sorry to waste your time, thanks for seeing me, good luck finding someone else.

I got as far as the car before my emotions went completely through the toilet. I don't think I realized how much hope I had put on this job before it was snatched away...
shirenomad: (frustrated)
The rent is due in three days. My deposit for my exchange trip to Japan is due on the tenth. I'm currently unemployed, as I have been since September, and I don't have a clue how I can fit a job into my college schedule. My income tax refund hasn't arrived yet, and even when it gets here I won't have enough to cover both expenses. And I'm so tired of begging money off my parents...

[edit] *glances at his friends list* Seems I've been channeling people again...

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